Obmane - Deceptions — Philip Arthur Larkin

"Naravno da sam bila drogirana, stovise do te mjere, da nisam dosla
   k svijesti sve do sljedeceg jutra. Zgrozila sam se kada sam otkrila da
   sam silovana i narednih sam dana neutjesno plakala poput djeteta,
   misleci da ce me ubiti ili poslati natrag teti."

Mayhew: "Londonski radnici i londonski siromasi"

   Premda tako dalek, ja kusam ocaj taj
   Gorak, uz klasje sto gutat' si morala.
   Slucajna sara sunca, sudski izvjestaj,
   Ulicna skripa kotaca tuzno traje,
   Svatovski se London ugiba u stranu,
   Krupno svjetlo koje odgovor ne daje,
   Brani rani da zacijeli, bolno svima
   Pokazuje sram. U sporohodnom danu
Otvorena zjapis ko ladica s nozevima.

   "Of course I was drugged, and so heavily I did not regain
   consciousness until the next morning. I was horrified to
   discover that I had been ruined, and for some days I was inconsolable,
and cried like a child to be killed or sent back to my aunt."

Mayhew: "London Labour and the London Poor"

Even so distant, I can taste the grief,
   Bitter and sharp with stalks, he made you gulp.
   The sun's occasional print, the brisk brief
   Worry of wheels along the street outside
   Where bridal London bows the other way,
   And light, unanswerable and tall and wide,
   Forbids the scar to heal, and drives
   Shame out of hiding. All the unhurried day
   Your mind lay open like a drawer of knives.

   Slums, years, have buried you. I would not dare
   Console you if I could. What can be said,
   Except that suffering is exact, but where
   Desire takes charge, readings will grow erratic?
   For you would hardly care
   That you were less deceived, out on that bed,
   Than he was, stumbling up the breathless stair
   To burst into fulfillment's desolate attic.

   Sirotinjo, humak godina te skriva.
   Da i mogu, tjesio te ne bih — sto reci,
   Osim da patnja je stvarna, opipljiva,
   Gdje zudnja kolo vodi, mudar savjet slabi?
   Kad bih reko, ti marila ne bi, da manje
   Si zavarana bila — prisiljena leci —
   No on, cije posrnulo, obmanuto stanje
Plijen sred pustog tavana prigrabi.

Obmane — Deceptions

(1955. pjesma je objavljena u drugoj zbirci Larkinove poezije "The Less Deceived – Manje Zavaran(a)"
Zbirka je objavljena uoci Bozica 1955. i "The Times" je uvrstava u popis najboljih knjiga godine.")

Pjesma je uvrstena u knjigu odobranih pjesma Philip Larkin: 'Poezija napustanja';
uredio, priredio i preveo Drazen Dragovic; nakladnik: Modernist nakladnistvo, Varazdin, 2010.; 174 str.; dvojezicno izdanje

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Philip Arthur Larkin

(1922 - 1985)